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Pregnancy Loss

Grief and Loss

Grief is the normal and painful internal response to a loss. We often think of grieving in reference to the death of a beloved person, but people can experience grief in response to any significant loss. These include a pet, a relationship, a job, or a life goal.

 

People respond to loss differently. You may experience sadness, anger, anxiety, guilt, shame, relief, or many other emotions. You may feel that you’re okay for awhile, but begin to realize you don’t feel like yourself. Read here for some ideas about what to do in the early days of grief.

 

Grief has no timeline. It should not be judged, it should be understood. If you think you should be “over it” by now but are still struggling, counseling can help you understand the loss and your reaction to it. You will find that loss is an experience you move through, not over. Read more about why we're bad at grieving.

 

It is important to get support. You need to talk about your loss so that you can make sense of  it in a healthy way. That support may come through family members and friends, but some people feel they have worn out those resources, or that they are no longer helpful and you start to get the idea that they want you to just “get over it.” I will listen to your story, and help you understand all of the emotions that come along with loss. I will help you begin the next chapter of your life while developing and maintaining meaning from the loss.

Grieving a Miscarriage or Stillbirth

You wanted a baby for so long and finally rejoiced in a positive pregnancy test. And the unimaginable has happened. The sadness that surrounds perinatal loss is heavy and suffocating. This is grief, the normal response to loss. Grieving perinatal loss is unique and lonely. No one feels as connected to your baby as you do, and you may have trouble making sense of this loss.

 

Grief doesn’t go away if it is ignored. It is important to get support. You need to talk about your loss so that you can make sense of it in a healthy way. That support may come through family members and friends, but some people feel they have worn out those resources, or that they are no longer helpful and you start to get the idea that they want you to just “get over it.”

 

As a certified grief counselor with special training in perinatal loss, I can help you grieve in a healthy way. I will listen to your story, and help you understand all of the emotions that come along with loss. You will:

  • learn to make time to grieve

  • explore ways of memorializing your baby

  • reduce stress and sleep better

  • learn helpful ways of communicating with those who don’t understand your pain

Read my blogposts on Grieving a Miscarriage, The Grief of Infertility, How to Help a Friend Through Miscarriage

Your friends and family may be interested in this WNC Parent article on What to Say After a Miscarriage.

 

I will help you begin the next chapter of your life while developing and maintaining meaning from your loss. 

Contact me to learn how to start grieving well. 

Homegrown Families of Asheville has a helpful perinatal loss support group on the fourth Monday of the month. Please contact them if you are interested in attending. 

Star Legacy Foundation is another helpful resource for parents of stillborn children. 

 

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