Unfortunately it wasn’t the first time I heard this story in my office. Melissa reported her IVF had failed. Women going through infertility are the fiercest most tenacious people I’ve met, so naturally she wanted to discuss what was next. She explained the doctor recommended another round, but this time a cheaper version called “mini IVF”. She was floored that this option existed because he hadn’t explained it to her previously. Melissa blamed herself for not asking enough q

When Platitudes Fall Flat You've all heard a platitude. They are words that are intended to be helpful, but do not usually help. (The work platitude comes from a french root of plat - meaning flat!) So no wonder it falls flat. If you're going through infertility or any hard time in life, here's a few I bet you've heard: Everything happens for a reason It was God's plan Time heals all wounds Good things come to those who wait What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger These

Learning to take care of yourself while trying to conceive will lay the groundwork for taking care of yourself when you're finally a par

A Diet Hack for Fertility I'm not usually one for diet hacks of any kind, but when I read this blogpost from Creating a Family I knew I had to share it. So often when women have trouble conceiving they start investigating all the things they shouldn't do - don't drink alcohol, don't over exercise, don't stay up too late, don't google all of your symptoms, all of this don'ting feels like deprivation. Finally we have some research-backed information on something to add to your

Do What Works You're here again. At that milestone that was once way out into the future when you thought for sure you'd be pregnant. Maybe it's a significant birthday or the day after a friend's wedding. Maybe your best friend has had 2 children all during the time you've been trying to conceive. You're frustrated that you've done everything you can to get to where you want to be and you feel like you've been standing still for months, or even years. Women who are trying to

Coping with Infertility as a Stepparent Creating a family certainly doesn't always go the way people expect it will. Some people are lucky to find each other a little later in life and there are a lot of benefits of that - knowing yourselves better, having careers, being more grown up! And sometimes relationships bring with them step children. Anyone who has had this experience knows there are pros and cons. And that is definitely the case when it comes to infertility. Often

Facebook is Ruining Your Life It’s happening on a daily basis now. You open up Facebook and see your friend from high school with her precious family of 4. That coworker who got married at the same time you did, is pregnant with her second child in the time it’s taken you to not have any children. You see these women have the thing you want - pregnancy, a family. And despite your hard work you haven’t been able to achieve it. You feel like a failure in the face of their succe

Tired of Driving to the Fertility Clinic There are roughly 1,028 fertility clinics in the United States. That’s great news if you live in a city with one. But for residents of certain cities or states, you’re probably driving an hour or two to the closest center for your treatment. Deciding to move on from your gynecologist to a reproductive endocrinologist is daunting on it’s own. You must make more time for appointments, scheduling tests, recovery, and potentially ultrasoun

Infertility Awareness Week - Zoom Out, There's More to Life Than Trying To Conceive It's Infertility Awareness week again, and this post is for all of you who have been all too well aware of infertility in the past months or years. Let's take this Awareness Week to have a different take on TTC. Having a baby means everything. You want it more than you’ve wanted anything and you’re willing to do anything to have one. But when you’re working to get something you want, your view

Your Sleep is Affecting Your Fertility Recently, an article in Current Sleep Medicine Reports was published citing research that sleep and fertility are closely related. Specifically the authors find: Disrupted sleep can disrupt hormone secretion and affect ovulation. Poor sleep may result in insulin resistance and glucose intolerance potentially contributing to infertility and early pregnancy loss, particularly among women with PCOS. Disturbed or inadequate sleep may produce

Just Relax! Your Best Friend’s Famous Last Words You’ve heard it everywhere. Sometimes the unsolicited advice is also accompanied by a story of someone’s friend/cousin/coworker who quit trying to conceive/went on a trip to Maui/decided to adopt and boom she got pregnant. How is this supposed to be helpful? If you’re like any other woman I see in my counseling practice, it just makes you want to murder them. Part of you knows she’s right, but the other part of you is so angry

A failed IVF is devastating. When I see women in my Asheville counseling practice after a failed IVF they feel aimless and hopeless. The sadness and disappointment they express are exactly the same emotions I see after a woman endures a pregnancy loss at any stage. I think women have a hard time validating their own emotions around a failed IVF. They know they feel horrible, but for some reason “failed IVF” in our culture does not equal “miscarriage”. It's hard to compare bec

When Your Medical Professional Is Pregnant Your medical professional is pregnant. You’re doing everything you can to get the help you need to conceive, and when you really get into it you can come across dozens of medical professionals: OB/GYN, reproductive endocrinologist, their nurses and lab techs, acupuncturist, therapist, massage therapist, chinese herbalist, and naturopathic doctors. I wish we could all make a special deal with you that we won’t become pregnant until yo